Welcome to The Lounge for another week!
This week’s theme is ‘things I suck at’.
Oh where should I begin?!
I cannot get it right.
I’ve started more get-fit quests than I can remember and along the way, I’ve parted with a hefty fortune I’d rather forget.
There has been no expense spared on health magazines, diet pills, magic teas, meal replacement shakes and fill-me-up juices. I’ve invested in gym memberships and personal trainers, microwave dinners, group fitness and pricey lifestyle programs.
I’ve also tried my fair share of diets. Paleo, low GI, low cal, low carb, no carb, soup – both cabbage and vegetable, the blood group diet and the pinnacle of all crash diets, the grapefruit diet…
Things work for a while, then, nothing.
The other week my sister called me at 9pm.
She had the ‘tone’ in her voice. Matter-of-fact, to the point and curt.
When the ‘tone’ comes out, sister means business.
Her monologue lasted for exactly two minutes, I timed her on the oven clock in my kitchen.
Robo, (she used my real name). I’m just calling to say that I‘ve was thinking about you and I think that your weight problem can be fixed. For once and for all. It isn’t that you don’t exercise because you do. Your problem is portion control. You don’t know when to stop and you don’t know what to eat. And you drink alcohol and you like dessert, so it’s doubly bad. My friend Effie has just lost 6 kilograms using Lite n Easy and she looks great. (At this point she went on about Effie’s diet highs and lows for a while.) And you have such a pretty face! It’s krima* for you to be so overweight.
And so it was said.
The brutal honesty that only a sister can deliver.
I was not upset with her.
The fact of the matter is that I did lose weight after my last baby. Most of the pregnancy weight came off. And it stayed off, until I stopped being careful with food. After that, he weight didn’t just creep back on, it piled on with retribution, quickly and I ballooned to an epic 83 kilograms.
The biggest I’ve ever been.
It’s humiliating to type the figure.
My saving grace is that I’m tall. So to the average person, I don’t look ‘fat’. I look like I could lose a few kilos. But in reality, I need to lose a minimum of 13 kilograms, to place in the healthy BMI range.
I exercise regularly so I am not unfit. I’m just too heavy.
And my sister is right. I eat all the wrong things.
My runners at the gym
So Lite n Easy it is. I’m at the start of my second week and I feel pretty good. I have energy and the food is much better than I anticipated. There is also a huge amount of food and it arrives in neat little organised parcels that strangely satisfy the methodical, organised side of my personality.
Finally, I feel as though I am doing myself a huge, long overdue favour.
Somehow, this feels like it could be it.
Hopefully, this is it.
Fingers crossed, I’ll learn my lesson.
How’s your diet? Any tips? Who is your critical friend?