Oh Mr Hart, What a Mess!

Do you have Someone in your life who is messy?


Someone who leaves things lying around?  Someone who cannot lie about their whereabouts because they leave their shit in the middle of every room?  Even though you have set up very specific areas for certain things, is Someone always asking, “where’s my wallet, keys, belt…?”


Do you have Someone in your life who can mess up a room, just by looking at it?


You do?  I’m glad I’m not the only one.



Just briefly, here are the top few things things that really piss me off about certain, ahem, Other People….



Making a coffee 

Result:  Coffee drips down the front of my white cupboard, Coffee granules around the grinder.  The drip attachment thingy in the sink, not emptied.

Impact:  I can’t put anything down on the area around the machine because ground coffee will inevitably stick to it.  Our old and tiny kitchen looks even worse than it usually does.  I have to clean the machine and surrounding area, every single time.

Solution:  Clean the fucking coffee machine.



Having a shower

Result:  Wet puddles on the floor.  Dirty clothing left in bathroom, (with my personal favourite, undies and pants removed in one clean sweep).  Wet towels left in the bedroom.

Impact:  I have nearly slipped which could cause me to break bones. Or fall and die.  I have to detangle used underwear from clothing when I do the laundry, which is particularly unpleasant.  Wet towels are often left on my side of the bed or chucked somewhere else – I have no idea what is clean or dirty and I have to rewash things, regardless.

Solution:  For fuck’s sake, use a bathmat, take off one item of clothing at a time and put dirty towels in the laundry basket, (it’s right next to the bathroom).



Changing clothes after work

Result:  Suit jackets left either in the car or on the back of a dining room chair.  Pile of suit pants left upstairs on the couch in front of the wardrobe.  Used shirts left in a crumpled heap.  Dress shoes left wherever they’re removed.

Impact:  I cannot bear to look at the pile of clothing, yet is doesn’t seem to worry Others. This means I have to put away my own clothing, the kids clothing and also Other People’s clothing.  This is simply unfair. Furthermore, money is wasted unnecessarily on dry cleaning because suits tend to lose their sharpness from lack of hanging. As well as this, I am always tripping over size 12 shoes, which is really annoying.

Solution:  Put fucking suits and shoes away.  It takes about one minute.



Shaving head and face

Result:  All shaving implements left out – brush, razor, shaving cream and clippers. Little hairs left in and around the sink.

Impact:  All  shaving stuff lying around makes our tiny vanity unusable, so when the kids or I get home and have to go potty, we need to clean up said shaving stuff, before we can wash our hands.  Also, removing tiny hairs from the basin is tedious and time consuming, especially where hair clipper oil is involved.

Solution:  When shaving is complete, put the shit away and clean up the fucking mess.



I cannot live in a dirty home.  I have to clean it.


I hate clutter.  I’m forever packing things away, or getting rid of unused items.  My two kids do a great job of mucking things up with their toys and biscuit crumbs, so I can usually be found cleaning, something…


My house is old and daggy, so when it does get messy, it looks extra messy.


The truth is, it drives me Fucking BONKERS.

Even worse, I am the only person who does these thankless chores.


It’s my birthday today.

This year I don’t want anything special.


I just want to clean my house and have it stay that way.


Is that too much to ask?


Robo X

Linking up with The Mother Hen for Open Slather

About Robomum

I blog after my kids go to sleep. It takes a while. View all posts by Robomum

54 responses to “Oh Mr Hart, What a Mess!

  • Ness

    Oh good lord I have no idea what to say. All of the above happens here too, and I do get annoyed and start to feel stabby until I realise that I do it all too and frankly I’m possibly as much of a slob or worse than anyone else in my family. Oops.

    Any chance of going on strike and demanding a cleaner?

    Hope you have a great birthday tomorrow anyway. x

  • redlandcitygirl

    Yes my hubster is a Messy with a capital M. I joke that he does a strip tease down the hall when he gets home from work – shoes at the front door, then socks off, belt, shirt by the time he’s in the bedroom …! I have learnt to live with it, he’s pretty fab in every other way!

  • Alicia - One Mother Hen

    I can so relate! I have a messy person in my house, lazy bastard lol! Men see mess in a totally different way than we do. Happy Birthday, hope you have an awesome day xx

  • SarahMac

    Oh Robo! My husband is weirdly messy in this way too. I say weirdly because he is kind of, ah, pedantic about certain shit, like how to stack the dishwasher, but doesn’t seem to subscribe to the “don’t leave your wet towel on the effing bed” school, as I do. I am far from anal re: tidiness, but I spend so much time in this house that putting away the endless clutter and shit left around really does my head in too.

  • ann

    Happy Birthday I hope some magical cleaning fairies pay you a visit!! Endless cleaning up after people drives me insane too!! Last week my house was clean and tidy for 15 whole minutes!!

  • crazycrunchychocolatemummy

    I concur! You should come and live with me and we can live in a perfectly tidy house. and Ill send my untidiness to your house and they can live in grub? haha
    I totally agree with these and the solutions, I think I have to print them and put them on the fridge!

  • Lydia C. Lee

    I’m the messy one – my partner is fastidious. You neat people are very stress inducing…(though I do watch those things about people buried in every newspaper since before the war and think that would be me if I was living by myself…)

  • Grace

    I love how with every solution to each problem you’ve dropped the F-Bomb! Lol! My husband leaves his dress shoes and his sneakers everywhere. As for business suits and pants? Let’s not even go there!

  • Rachel

    What I want to know is… when did you come to live at my house? I relate to EVERY single one of those points! Every sIngle one. The undies tangled in the trousers, the work clothes left wherever they fall, the head having with hair and equipment strewn every where… GAAHHHH!!!!

    And like you my house is small and very daggy and looks 100% worse when full of people’s clutter and SHIT everywhere.

    Phew, I feel better having gotten all that out! Awesome post – at least I know there are others fighting on the front line against the crap invasion 🙂

  • Kylez @ A Study in Contradictions

    Firstly, Happy Birthday for the other day.

    Secondly, if I was you I would get a big garbage bag and put all the offending items in terms of clothes and shoes and razors and clippers in it and if he wants to use them he can search through that to get them. Might make him make a bit of effort next time! Drastic, but it might work.

    My husband has little piles all around the house of his clothes. There is a pile beside the bed, more than one pile outside the bathroom door (and each pile has a different meaning apparently, dirty and not so dirty so they can be worn again, I can’t see the difference personally!), shoes every-fucking-where! But I don’t complain about the clothes piles because he does do all his won washing so if that is the system that works for him and getting his washing done so be it. What really drives me fucking bonkers though is when he cleans the kitchen. He’ll pack, unpack the dishwasher, clean the pots and pans, clean the stove. But he won’t WIPE THE FUCKING BENCH DOWN! He leaves it covered in crumbs and spills and it doesn’t matter how many times I tell him I would prefer having to wash a few pots and pans myself if he would just wipe down the bench, he just doesn’t do it! Grrr!

    • robomum

      The first thing that springs to mind is, ‘Are you fucking insane woman!!”
      He does about 500 more chores than my husband and the bench is worrying you…
      But then I think, it must be epic if it annoys you.
      No matter how much someone does, we all have our bug bears and pet hates.

      I think your strategy is a good one but I can’t handle the thought of THAT BAG, untouched, in three months time.

  • Catherine @ Cup of Tea and a Blog

    *hangs head in shame* In my house I am the messy one.

  • Me

    Happy birthday for the other day !!!
    It was like a breath of fresh air – knowing that I am not alone. Mine probably isn’t quite as bad as yours but I have, so often wondered, am I the only one who complains about cr*p lying all over the place, not put away. Why are the diningroom chairs treated as your wardrobe ? You have a big enough wardrobe just down the passage – it isn’t that far – our house isn’t that big !!!!! Why is the mail opened and taken out and then just left on the kitchen bench mixed up with the junk mail. If anything gets cut off (water and electricity I’m talking about here !!!), it will be my fault because I didn’t pay the account but I probably threw it out with all the othger cr*p on the bench when I had JUST HAD ENOUGH !!!
    LOL – so good to know I am not the only one is all I can say !
    Have the best weekend !
    #FYBF visitor

  • Kim

    DUDE! I missed your birthday. Happy fucking birthday. There’s only one solution. Divorce.
    Men cannot wipe benches down. They cannot bear to have clothes touching their bodies once they enter the front door, and have to strip down to undies wherever they realise the clothes are still touching them. Their shoes – their FUCKING SIZE 14 SHOES!!! CENTIPEDES THEY ARE! Yet, how can they be so very anal about any clutter on the bench-top, or about the exactly correct way to lay out plates and bowls in the dishwasher? You know by ‘they’ I refer to one specific man. That Man.

  • Have a laugh on me

    Awwww can’t believe I missed your birthday – hope you had a great one. Love this post, I used to go f-ing insane with the mess/clutter around here but I’ve totally given up. If you can’t beat em’ join em’ (as I wrote this I threw a piece of paper on the floor) Men are feral, always will be. It’s lucky they have willys otherwise what use would we have for them 🙂 xxx

  • Sj

    You made me laugh so hard that orange juice came out my nose!

  • Kirsty @ My Home Truths

    I feel your pain Robomum – I am the dogsbody of my house as well, forever cleaning up after the “Others”. A very belated happy birthday to you too!

  • Trish MLDB

    LOL – not – happens here all the time and my kids are the worse offenders.

  • Rachel

    Sometimes it’s the little things that tip us over the edge. Thanks for linking up with Eat.Pray.Love. 🙂

  • Mixed Gems

    Oh dear, I hope you ended up having a lovely birthday, celebrating exactly the way you wanted. I hate clutter too, but as I write this surrounded by the stuff, I realise I’ve let my standards and threshold slip…I’ve had to for my own sanity. I wish I was like a certain male member of our house who was blind to it all. Sigh.

  • Rita Azar

    Totally understand you! I hate the mess around the house. My husband is the type of leaving his clothes all around the house. Makes me crazy… Wishing you a very happy belated birthday! May your wish comes true!

  • stephanie

    That messy person you are talking about in my family is ME! Hope you got the present you were wanting for your birthday

  • Greek Weddings and Traditions

    I totally understand you…. I can’t stand messy coffee machines either!

  • Ness

    Have you managed to find one of those Cleaning Fairies yet, Robo? If so, can you send them over to mine when they’re done at yours? Hope things have improved for you somehow, anyway. If not, I hope you have a good stash of wine and chocolate. xo

  • Lydia C. Lee

    I am that mess person. So I will be very quiet. My partner is you. I drive him crazy.

  • Kylie Purtell - A Study in Contradictions

    I just re-read my comment on this, and your reply and I have to say… he still does it! And it still drives me nuts! Especially as right now there is a colony of ants setting up shop in the damn kitchen, making hay while the sun shines, as they say! And there is a lot to make hay from, let me tell ya! But you are right, I can’t complain because he does do so much other stuff, I’m lucky really.

    Thanks for linking up and giving me the chance to guest host. I’m loving it! xxx

  • Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me

    Ha ha and oldie but a goodie! And yes my old comment still stands, I just have to turn a blind eye! 🙂

  • Tegan Churchill

    I’m the messy person in our relationship. I have been known to put dirty clothes in front of the clothes basket. Drives Paul up the wall and it’s not even his house lol!

  • Twitchy Autumn Fairy (@TwitchyCorner)

    It’s official: the people we live with are all trying to kill us, either quickly through injury, or slowly via insanity and loss of every last shredded nerve… Today I lost my shiz because I when I poured my cereal the torn bag inside sprayed it all AROUND THE BOWL. Despite having lost my shiz on this exact scenario multiple times over twenty years, apparently I am an over-reactor.

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