Monthly Archives: February 2013

Food, Bath, Milk and Sleep. A Hot TIp!

 

Since reading Have a Laugh on Me and her account of Witching Hour, I have been reflecting our own Witching Hour….  That manic time of the day where we have four main objectives and each one of them is met with resistance and a filthy attitude.

 

Today, instead of complaining about the problems, I’m going to deliver solutions.

 

 

I’m sharing a parenting tip that I have been using with success for quite a while.  I thought I was Mother of the Year actually, until I Googled my tip and realised that clearly, I am living in a parallel universe with the other mums and dads who do the same thing.

 

Regardless, it’s too good to not share, so here it is:

 

 

Food colouring in the bath water.

 

Food colouring

 

 

Food colouring in the bath water is legendary.

It’s The Most Awesome Thing EVER!

 

 

Food Colouring in the bath water is:

 

  • The Octonauts’ Deep Purple Water
  • Captain Barnacles Stormy Adventure.
  • Dora is scared of the Blue Water.
  • The Green Water Adventure
  • The Ocean is Red Like Blood (personally, this title creeps me out a little)

 

 

Food colouring in the bath water never gets old.  On an exceptionally crazy day, I just change the colour.

 

It buys me about 15 minutes, in the eye of the storm that is Witching Hour.  I sit on the loo watching my kids and suggest scenarios for figurines who need ‘saving’ from ‘The Island’, (the edge of the bath), or who need ‘help to escape the treacherous snow storm’, (white wash cloths).

 

 

So the next time you find yourself about to lose your shit during Witching Hour, think of my pioneering parenting skills and head for your pantry.

 

 

Food Colouring in the Baaaath Wateeeeerrrr!!!! (Best Oprah voice)

 

 

Robo X


Gaming? No judgement.

This week, My Man uttered the words that I’d been dreading…

 

“SuperCoach is about to start again.”

 

The Mother Effing SuperCoach.

 

 

I’m first to admit that I faff about on the internet probably a lot more than the average person.  I’m also guilty of watching ridiculous TV, most of the time.  I accept that both pastimes could be deemed by some as pointless or time-wasting.

 

But I tell you, in my opinion, there is nothing more pointless or time-wasting than SuperCoach.

 

 

SuperCoach is exactly like the “Fantasy Football” we hear about in America; buying and selling players to create your ‘team’, which you then ‘manage’ to win rounds and progress through a process of elimination.

 

It’s not real.  It’s pretend.

 

 

The following issues are what annoy me most about SuperCoach:

 

  • The pressing nature of the game.  It is completed religiously, on Friday afternoons, before the game, like it’s an important business deal that requires urgent action.  “I can’t eat/come/leave yet, I’m doing my SuperCoach”.

and

  • The sheer effort that goes into it.  It is discussed and strategised, at great length I might add, throughout the week, with an equally committed best mate.  WTF?  I don’t get that.  I would never talk about my make-believe anything with my friends!

I just think…

Talk to your mates as long as you like.  

But talking to your mates about your job as an imaginary Team Manager is kinda pathetic…  Strange.  

You  are forty and you work in an office.  You don’t work on a footy field.

592985-ken-billingham

This is Ken Billingham, 2012 Supercoach ‘champion’. He probably pissed his wife off for 6 months  of last year too.

Now, I have played games in the past.

Many years ago, I signed up for Second Life but as soon as someone tried to cyber-romance me, I realised it was definitely NOT my cup of tea.

I also had a short-lived obsession with Bakery Story when I got a new smart phone last year and prior to that, many moons ago, Snake on my Nokia 2100.

 

 

Aside from the rubbish TV, my vice is Twitter and I read blogs.

Lots of them.

 

 

This post is more an admission, than an attack.

I do not really understanding the enjoyment of gaming.

So I don’t get the thrill of SuperCoach and other such pastimes.

Really I don’t.

 

 

Do you get it?  Or like me, are you on the sidelines of a Fantasy Football match?

 

Linking up with #IBOT today.  Enlighten me!

 

Robo X


Oh Mr Hart, What a Mess!

Do you have Someone in your life who is messy?

 

Someone who leaves things lying around?  Someone who cannot lie about their whereabouts because they leave their shit in the middle of every room?  Even though you have set up very specific areas for certain things, is Someone always asking, “where’s my wallet, keys, belt…?”

 

Do you have Someone in your life who can mess up a room, just by looking at it?

 

You do?  I’m glad I’m not the only one.

 

 

Just briefly, here are the top few things things that really piss me off about certain, ahem, Other People….

 

 

Making a coffee 

Result:  Coffee drips down the front of my white cupboard, Coffee granules around the grinder.  The drip attachment thingy in the sink, not emptied.

Impact:  I can’t put anything down on the area around the machine because ground coffee will inevitably stick to it.  Our old and tiny kitchen looks even worse than it usually does.  I have to clean the machine and surrounding area, every single time.

Solution:  Clean the fucking coffee machine.

 

 

Having a shower

Result:  Wet puddles on the floor.  Dirty clothing left in bathroom, (with my personal favourite, undies and pants removed in one clean sweep).  Wet towels left in the bedroom.

Impact:  I have nearly slipped which could cause me to break bones. Or fall and die.  I have to detangle used underwear from clothing when I do the laundry, which is particularly unpleasant.  Wet towels are often left on my side of the bed or chucked somewhere else – I have no idea what is clean or dirty and I have to rewash things, regardless.

Solution:  For fuck’s sake, use a bathmat, take off one item of clothing at a time and put dirty towels in the laundry basket, (it’s right next to the bathroom).

 

 

Changing clothes after work

Result:  Suit jackets left either in the car or on the back of a dining room chair.  Pile of suit pants left upstairs on the couch in front of the wardrobe.  Used shirts left in a crumpled heap.  Dress shoes left wherever they’re removed.

Impact:  I cannot bear to look at the pile of clothing, yet is doesn’t seem to worry Others. This means I have to put away my own clothing, the kids clothing and also Other People’s clothing.  This is simply unfair. Furthermore, money is wasted unnecessarily on dry cleaning because suits tend to lose their sharpness from lack of hanging. As well as this, I am always tripping over size 12 shoes, which is really annoying.

Solution:  Put fucking suits and shoes away.  It takes about one minute.

 

 

Shaving head and face

Result:  All shaving implements left out – brush, razor, shaving cream and clippers. Little hairs left in and around the sink.

Impact:  All  shaving stuff lying around makes our tiny vanity unusable, so when the kids or I get home and have to go potty, we need to clean up said shaving stuff, before we can wash our hands.  Also, removing tiny hairs from the basin is tedious and time consuming, especially where hair clipper oil is involved.

Solution:  When shaving is complete, put the shit away and clean up the fucking mess.

 

 

I cannot live in a dirty home.  I have to clean it.

 

I hate clutter.  I’m forever packing things away, or getting rid of unused items.  My two kids do a great job of mucking things up with their toys and biscuit crumbs, so I can usually be found cleaning, something…

 

My house is old and daggy, so when it does get messy, it looks extra messy.

 

The truth is, it drives me Fucking BONKERS.

Even worse, I am the only person who does these thankless chores.

 

It’s my birthday today.

This year I don’t want anything special.

 

I just want to clean my house and have it stay that way.

 

Is that too much to ask?

 

Robo X

Linking up with The Mother Hen for Open Slather


Stephanie Forrester is about to die and this makes me sad

I fell in love with Bold and the Beautiful in 1989.  I was on a Greek island, population a mere 1000 and I kid you not, for that half hour every afternoon, eerie silence fell in the streets.

I remember it like it was yesterday, my dad’s elderly sisters, widows who dressed in black, hot footing it up the hill from the marketplace to their village home, intent on watching “Ridge and Carolina”, back when things were good between Ridge and Carolina.

Unbeknownst to me then, this soap opera, Bold, which is what true fans call it, would be one to bring the guiltiest of pleasures for so many years to come.

In the afternoons during high school, while my parents worked, Bold was my electronic babysitter.

During university, I missed it at times but it was nothing a little light reading at the newsagency couldn’t correct. Throughout the long uni break, I would stop whatever I was doing for that half an hour a day and get my fix of all things Forrester.

Any fan would concur, there is no other plot quite like the Bold plot.

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past 26 years, I’ll tell you about a few of my favourite characters.

Brooke Logan

Why I love her

The torrid love affair between Brooke and Ridge, Brooke and Ridge’s brother, Thorne and Brooke and Ridge’s father, (who, as it turns out, is not his true father), Eric, has always been the central focus of the plot. Huge.

Since Brooke swanned into the Forrester’s life all those years ago, she’s brought nothing but drama.  After developing the Belief Formula as a young Chemist, she’s held them over a barrel, taking not only the Forrester men but also their money, pride and the Forrester name.

My favourite story lines

My favourite scenes incorporate Brooke’s countless weddings, both bikini-clad and traditional and also the numerous vow affirmations.  Without doubt, the best wedding scene of all time would have to be Brooke on horseback at the beach, galloping through the scrub to stop Ridge’s wedding to Taylor.  Un-bloody-real.

The plot to end all plots involved Brooke’s sexual encounter on the dance floor, as you do, whilst chaperoning at her daughter’s party.  She was wearing the same dress as her daughter, pendant included and after a horrible identity mix-up, she had stand-up sex on the terrace with her daughter’s boyfriend, Oliver, who she thought was Ridge!  Ridge’s response to this tragic mistake: “Oh Logan!”

Above all, what I admire most about Brooke is not her determined character, her love for her man or her strong drive and passion. No. I most admire her ability to cry, on demand, with a single, elegant tear coming out of one eye, each and every time.  Epic.

Brooke

Taylor Hayes 

Why I love her

What I love most about Doc, Ridge’s pet name for her, is that she is actually a Doctor – a Psychiatrist.  And she is the dumbest, most short-sighted and naïve Psychologist in LA.  Taylor Hayes, with her Botoxed face now void of all expression, is a complete idiot, making mistake after mistake, destroying her life with her ridiculous choices.

 

But what a life she’s had!  She’s been married and divorced more times than I can remember, she’s had her heart broken, repeatedly – a result of her incorrect partner selection, she’s been killed and brought back to life, she’s been a ghost, she’s been kidnapped, she developed amnesia and was subsequently found by a Moroccan Prince, (who changed her name from Taylor to Layla).

Taylor too, has had it off with all of the Forrester men at different points but she has steadfastly remained an important third of the longest running love triangle in television history.

My favourite story lines

Aside from the murder attempts, kidnappings and broken hearts, the hardest thing, Taylor has had to endure was giving birth to Brooke’s baby. Yes, Brooke’s baby.  After a mix-up at the IVF clinic, where Brooke’s daughter, (who grew up so very rapidly), worked as a Specialist, Taylor was impregnated with the incorrect egg.  Brooke’s egg.  What happened to baby Jack I am not sure but I can guarantee that he will return as a 20 year old some time soon.

Poor Taylor.  Taylor Hayes is the biggest moron on Bold but I do love her.

Taylor

Lastly, my reason for writing this post…

Stephanie Forrester.

My favourite lady on daytime television. 

Just like Brooke, it brings a tear to my eye to announce that the matriarch of the Forrester family is finally dying.  She has been there for every integral part of the story.  She has schemed and lied and cheated her way through life, always with the greatest motivation in mind – her family.

She’s had her husband, Eric,  ripped from her under dramatic circumstances, more than once.  Both Brooke and Taylor have copped a feel of the Big E, with other names such as cray cray Sheila Carter and Lauren Fenmore, springing to mind as well.  Stephanie has had a lifetime of her nemesis, Sally Spectra to contend with, with Sally always finding a creative way to steal Forrester designs.

Until recently, her life’s mission was to keep Brooke Logan away from her sons, namely Ridge. She has plotted and conspired against Brooke in so many situations, it’s actually difficult to remember them all.  One stand-out memory is the Big Bear incident, where Stephanie got into serious fisticuffs with Brooke and terrorised her with a fire poker.  Unexpectedly violent.

Stephanie.  She’s been shot, been sick, had amnesia, been homeless, she’s had affairs, children out of wedlock and she’s had cancer, more than once.  Towards the end of her life, after becoming a philanthropist for the homeless down at Skid Row, she finally reconciled with Brooke and realised while riding the Ferris Wheel, that despite all of the affairs, lies and turmoil between them, they really are kindred spirits. BFF.

Cancer will bring Stephanie’s life to an end.  My last couple of Bold episodes involved an outstanding family bash at the mansion, complete with Celtic performers, then Eric driving Stephanie to the Big Bear cabin and making her comfortable.  Just today, Brooke arrived to stay with her for a while.

Stephanie Forrester is about to die and this makes me sad. I’m predicting one more episode before it finally happens.

There will always be Forrester Creations and the Forresters, and there will always be delicious scandal but there will never be another Stephanie.

RIP Stephanie. Godspeed.  I’m sure we’ll meet again via some tasteful montages and flashback scenes.

Robo X

Stephanie


Inaugural DP Drinks

Aside from the Shire boys’ loud conversation about Jenko’s drunken sex session and an interruption at Town Hall station which caused a 40 minute delay, my train trip to Milsons Point for the Digital Parents Drinks was a relatively calm experience.

 

I needed calm.

Tackling a huge personal challenge like this required lots of calm.

 

I was apprehensive and generally shitting bricks about meeting other Bloggers.  And after walking from the train station to the Kirribilli Club in the heat, I had become a very sweaty bundle of nerves.

 

I remember saying to someone, although I don’t remember who, that I have no trouble talking in front of my students at school but in front of other adults, I am a wreck.  I’ve carried this lack of self-confidence around with me forever, so turning up at the DP Drinks, as the face of my blog, took every ounce of courage that I could summon.

 

I scanned the room for a familiar face and recognised Kimbalikes from her Twitter image at a faraway table.

‘Here goes nothing’, I thought and I made my feet move toward the group of people I only knew from my computer screen.

 

I got to the end of the table and kind of just stood there, smiling; a sweaty, smiling weirdo.

Three faces looked up at me and I think I said,

“Hi, I’m from Robomum”.

 

There were a few brief seconds of confusion where I’m sure they thought, WTF, but I was swiftly welcomed to the table with a collective,

“Ohhhhh hhiiiii!”

 

Within a few minutes, I was walking to the bar with Mumabulous, to order my first drink.  I don’t remember that conversation very well, I was still a nervous panic, so Mumabulous, if I seemed a bit bizarro, please don’t hold it against me.

 

 

I blog under my pseudonym of Robomum, still too afraid to come out of my blogging closet.

 

Saying my name, out loud to real people, was surreal.

 

For me, the DP Drinks was about coming forward and taking ownership of my thoughts and words.  It was an opportunity to discuss a shared passion, to learn from others, to share and to meet the people behind the blogs I know so well.

 

A little highlight of the afternoon was when Jodi from Mummyhood101 looked up my blog.

“Is this it?” she asked and showed me her screen.

After keeping my blog a secret for so long, seeing it appear on someone else’s screen was a tiny thrill – a confirmation of sorts.

 

So thank you to my fellow Bloggers, for welcoming the physical me so warmly into your community.

And to anyone else in my situation, who is still in the Blogging closet, do yourself a favour and attend the next Bloggy Drinks.

 

It was one of the most supportive and encouraging forums that I have ever experienced.

 

Shout outs to the people I met and apologies if I forget anyone:

 

Brenda from Mumabulous, Kim from Falling Face First, Becci from Birdy Num Num, Jodi from Mummyhood101, Catherine from Cup of Tea and a Blog, Grace from With Some Grace, Kylie from A Study in Contradictions and Veronica from Mixed Gems.

 

And a VERY BIG THANKS to Brenda Gaddi for being so legendary in the support department.

 

Sharing this one with IBOT over at Essentially Jess

 

Robo X


RoboMum

Re-posting to show my support to the wonderful Chrissie Swan. 

Yes people…  She is human!

As always, just the awkward excruciating truth.

All the best Chrissie

Robo X

 

I have a girl crush on Chrissie Swan, so at the risk of sounding stalkeresque, unstable or both, I’ll try to explain.

Maybe girl crush is the wrong choice of words. I have a deep affection for her.  An admiration. When Chrissie talks, along with thousands of others, I listen.

The Teacher in me has created this simple flow chart detailing all the reasons for said girl crush:

She’s a real Sista!

I’m not on TV or radio but (and here’s my long bow), I am a mum, wife and writer so I feel as though I share an affinity with her.

Here’s why:

  • All of our kidlets are similar ages so we were pregnancy buddies together, via the TV, (which…

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