Office Colleagues

So in The Lounge this week, we’re talking about horrible jobs and work situations.

 

WBB

My favourite boss Michael Scott, from one of my favourite shows

 

 

Right now, I work for some excellent managers and with some fine teachers.

But throughout my career, I’ve worked with some interesting characters, let me tell you…

 

 

Here’s a compilation, the best of the best.

 

 

The Office Manager

During my four year tenure at this company, I endured countless incessant, one-sided discussions with The Office Manager.  Her tennis lessons, her volley, her bad knee, her renovations, her hair, her family, her ski trips…  I cannot tell you how many hours I wasted, leaning against her door, being ear-bashed by this woman.

She was known as the person in the office you didn’t want to ‘get started’.  Her level of self-absorption was phenomenal, her self-awareness, non-existent.  The only upshot of working for The Office Manager was that if you ever felt like not working, you could head into her office for a guaranteed way to murder 40 minutes.

 

 

The HR Manager

I worked with this guy for a period of about three months. He seemed nice enough and the girls felt a little sorry for him;  talked often about a girlfriend he’d left back in his home state. Whenever the conversation would steer to anything remotely personal, he would always discuss her, in great detail.

At one Friday drinks, some male colleagues called bullshit and The HR Manager was unexpectedly ‘outed’.

Within a few weeks, there was an angry visitor at reception, a young outwardly gay, young man. He claimed that The HR Manager was his estranged lover and in actual fact, a HUGE sexual deviant.  That day, there were elaborate details screamed across the lobby of our building and the HR Manager left our workplace that week.

 

 

The Marketing Team

Have you ever met a person and clashed immediately? This happened to me at my second ‘proper’ post-university job.  I was working in a Marketing Team with a number girls and their male boss, but it was a disaster. The manager was nice, but oblivious to the cut-throat women who decided to not like me.

The Marketing Team withheld information, excluded me from meetings and lunches, acted as though I should know information that they failed to share…  It was a terrible period for me, one of exclusion and self-doubt.

Of course I did nothing about it, even when I resigned two years later, but looking back I wish I had.  It was workplace bullying at its finest.  Marketing Bitches!

 

 

Annoying Teacher

I currently work with Annoying Teacher and on a daily basis, she makes me want to punch something.  If there’s a problem, she can solve it.  If there’s a crisis, she can fix it.  She eavesdrops, she butts in, she offers advice when it isn’t requested, she dominates staff room conversations with her ridonkulous pet stories and inane chatter about her absurd hobbies. She never listens to a word anyone says, always preferring the sound of her own pathetic opinions. She is yet another colleague who has absolutely zero self-awareness.

The only amusing aspect to working  with Annoying Teacher is that before too long, most new colleagues ask the question:  Is she for real?

Unfortunately, she is.  Some days, I want to hurt her.

 

 

The Food Thief

This colleague is so unbelievable she has her own personal post that you can read here.

 

 

The Milk Guy

The Milk Guy was caught drinking milk from the communal supply in the kitchen.

Still turns my stomach.

 

 

Lunch time Jogger

Never, ever used deodorant.  Ever.

It was a close work situation.  The worst.

 

 

Mrs Camel Toe

High-waisted slacks.  It was not nice first thing in the morning.

Every morning.

 

 

Coffee Breath CFO

Need I say more?

 

 

I have worked in several workplaces and with hundreds of people.  This post is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to weirdo colleagues.  I could go on.  And on…

 

The only positive that comes from having a colleague from hell, is that you inevitably bond with someone else through shared disbelief.

 

 fuck this shit

 

 

Have you worked with anyone  who has made you shake your head?

 

 

Link your work posts with The Lounge, today over at Kim’s Blog.

 

The Lounge Logo

 

Love,

Robo X

About Robomum

I blog after my kids go to sleep. It takes a while. View all posts by Robomum

26 responses to “Office Colleagues

  • Kim

    HHAHAHAH Mrs Camel Toe. Poor poor Mrs Camel Toe. Why didn’t somebody tell her? Maybe she and The Milk Guy could have joined together and had a long and happy relationship filled with social unawareness and mutual unsavoury practices. Tolerance, dear Robo. What would we do without it? It’s a gift. x

  • Ness

    And people sometimes make me feel bad about being extremely quiet. I think a very quiet work colleague would be preferable to some of those freaks. You must have the patience of a saint, Robo. That is honestly what is putting me off ever going back to work: PEOPLE. They’re the worst. xo

  • Tegan

    I had a few of those teachers at school. They worked in a High School and were so unaware of how ridiculous they acted and were baffled why none of the students took them seriously.

  • Emily

    Poor Mrs Camel Toe. Toilet paper on the shoe or lippie on the teeth you could tell her about, but how do you bring camel toe casually into the conversation?! You don’t. Poor thing.

  • Kylez @ A Study in Contradictions

    I so badly wish I could have written this post about some of the people I currently work with but due to the fact my name is in my blog and anyone could find it I went the safe route and spoke about customers. But oh the stories I wish I could tell!

  • Oculus Mundi

    Haha! Sorry to laugh at your misfortune, but some of these were priceless. Felt kind of sorry for the sexual deviant chappy mind you. Once worked with a guy who smelled so bad the boys called him Grow Bag (fertiliser) and left deodorant and etc on his desk for him one day – which may seem cruel but it is no laughing matter being around someone who honks to high heavens :(

    There was a teacher like that at my last job as a T.A. Don’t suppose her name begins with a T does it? She was horrid, one morning arrived an hour late but didn’t call anyone, so it was just fortunate I noticed her Year 1 class all sitting outside, unsupervised and awaiting her arrival. A few weeks later she decided to leave with no notice, so concocted a story about her boyfriend getting his dream job abroad and them having to leave immediately. Only to be seen, out and about on the G.C. and Brissy within weeks. Le sigh. Sure hope she’s doing something else for a living now…

    • Robomum

      Grow bag! LOL! Bad B.O.would have to be one of the yuckiest things ever…

      I felt for he HR Manager as well but in the end, so much more happened with him, it was clearly the best decision. He was a total mess.

      No. Not the same person… ;) What a freak! Who leaves students unsupervised? So dangerous! I can’t believe she made up that story! She had a few issues to deal with by the sounds of things…

  • Katyberry

    Is she for real?
    I’ve worked with people where I’ve had to ask that question. Sometimes everyone pretends to like someone and so you’re left thinking Really? Maybe it’s me? But 9 tines out of 10 the truth outs that EVERYONE thinks that person is a tool. I love that moment where someone makes an accidental comment and then everyone realises that they are not alone in thinking person X is a freakazoid. Great Team Bonding stuff!

  • mommyhasaheadache

    Too many crazy co-workers to mention. But the most bizarre was when I worked at a delicatessen on Saturdays. We girls were all about fourteen and the boss asked us if we wanted to do overtime by starring in a porn film he was shooting. I did not wait to find out if it was going to be shot in the delicatessen but made my excuses and left!

  • Amanda @ Cooker and a Looker

    I’ve had a similar experience with Marketing people. Perhaps the kind of people I try to avoid in real life are the same kind of people drawn to a career in talking stuff up?

  • Twitchy (@TwitchyCorner)

    Oh dear, yes. What a darling collection you have there! Having worked in advertising and marketing, I have landed myself in the company of more than a few unscrupulous arseholes. My favourites being the Lying Letch and the two Sneak Up Behind Workers and Scream At Them Managers. Arseholes. Arseholes!!

  • Emily @ Have a laugh on me

    I’ve had numerous dodgy and horrible colleagues, especially one who never wore deodorant and had smokey breath! There are many strange folks in newsrooms – I could write a book – LOVE the camel toe reference! Em xx

  • Martine@themodernparent

    Oh this made me laugh..I have worked with a great many of your colleagues it seems. Having worked from home for a while I had almost forgotten all these wonderful characters that actually do exist

  • mamagrace71

    Mr Lunchtime Jogger had me giggling.
    I had Mr Burper sitting next to me. Oh, and I worked with a Ms Stretch Pants once too. Not a pleasant sight.
    Geez, office work. You could write an entire novel about some of the characters you come across!

  • This Charming Mum

    Ugh! These are the kinds of people who make me glad I now work from home! I used to work with a lunch time power-walker – always sweaty – and a few of those Annoying Teacher types. But you’re very right about the team bonding benefits – there’s nothing like a common enemy!

  • Slapdash Mama

    It’s “fuck this shit O’clock” all day in my office. And at home. HAHAHA.
    Robo I cannot even get started about some of the CRAZY TYPES I have worked with/currently work with in my particular organization. Seriously. Crazies.
    Not me of course. I am the PERFECT WORKMATE.
    Haha.

  • Katrina

    Bwahahahaha. Love this.
    Let me just say however that my last business was a play cafe in which I employed my mother in law. A women who, you might say, is a heinous bitch (but a dang good cook) so to anyone who has a bad workmates story, I win.

  • Jo

    Yes there have been a few and when bullying is included, it can make even the strongest of us want to run in the opposite direction, quickly. I did. I now enjoy working in my own business from my home office. I miss most of my colleagues but couldn’t be happier to have escaped from some of the doozies.

  • Dorothy

    I’ve worked with some shockers in the past, some strangely similar to yours.

  • Mystery Case

    Too funny! I work for myself, have done since having the kids. I don’t think I could ever go back to working in an office situation. I do occasionally do freelance type work for clients out of their offices which is enough for me.

  • Make Me Laugh | RoboMum

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